|I was reflecting recently on one of our dear members who, for years, had a constant mantra around eating: “I can’t trust myself around food”.
Treats in the office breakroom? “I can’t trust myself around food.”
(snags two more Reeses PB Cups).
Graduation Open House for a friend? “I can’t trust myself around food.”
(goes up for cake even though is stuffed).
Vacation surrounded by constant temptation to indulge? “I can’t trust myself around food.”
(orders coffee with extra syrup and whip)
…You see, she was living into this identity of herself: “I’m an all or nothing person. I see food; I will eat it. And once I eat it, forget about it – I’m gonna keeping going and going. That’s just me.”
Her mind was set on the fact that she would fail anyway, so why not just give in?
…Anyone else relate?
But now imagine what would happen if we changed “can’t” into “can”.
….just give it a try:
Treats in the office breakroom? “No problem; I can trust myself around food.”
(walks on by)
Graduation Open House for a friend? “No problem; I can trust myself around food.”
(I am pleasantly full and like this feeling; I’ll stop now).
Vacation surrounded by constant temptation to indulge? “No problem; I can trust myself around food.”
(Orders an Americano to sip, enjoying the cozy atmosphere)
See what that does?! How that feels?!
Far too often, I believe we live into identities of ourselves that paralyze us from moving forward. We’re give ourselves titles: “hot mess” (ok, just me?! :)),“zero willpower”, “all or nothing” and these titles sometimes actually give us permission to live them out and we become that person more and more.
What title are you giving yourself that, in reality, is giving permission to do more of that?
Can you shift a few words around? Reframe your situation?
“Life will always have some element of mess in it. I do pretty well and can trust myself to get out of a downward spiral.”
“Maybe it’s not willpower, but why-power. I can trust myself that I’ll keep the why bigger than the why-not.”
“I can be in the presence of food and not have to eat everything. And I can trust myself that if I do have something, I’ll be satisfied with less because I’ll slow down and savor each bite.”
These mindset shifts may not seem monumental, but we know that lots of small “wins” add up to some pretty big victories overall.
…You are worthy of trusting yourself. It starts with first thinking it; then you will eventually live into it and when you do…magic happens.
PS – this dear member who switched her “I can’t trust myself” thoughts to “I can trust myself” thoughts has lost the weight (of anxiety, of feeling of failure, of self-sabotage) and now is not only rocking her skinny “skinny jeans” but is enjoying food, loving herself abundantly, and conquering personal records in the gym, too. We think that’s pretty cool.